Usually it takes something really horrible happening to realize how good you have or had it (depending on how truly horrible said incident was). Tonight, something great happened and had the same effect. I found a balance.
Don't depend on one person to make you happy, not even yourself. Honestly, that whole you're-the-only-person-who-can-make-you-happy lecture is a bunch of bullshit. You have to be willing to be happy, not like the emo kids who are only happy when they have something to be unhappy about, but people were the happiest when they lived in small villages and had to depend on each other.
My balance is don't put all of my stock in others or in myself. I make mistakes, too. And if I only depend on myself, who will be there to help me pull myself out of the hole if I get in over my head? No one. And sure I could work my own way out, but it'd take a hell of a lot longer and probably make me bitter in the end.
Bitter people upset me. They have no one to blame, but themselves and their pride. Still they hate everyone else. Trust no one. Depend on no one. Love no one.
It took finding out that John is coming home soon and that there might actually be another decent guy out there, but I've finally figured out that to love you have to trust and depend on others.
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