"At Least He's Alive"

"At least he's alive..."

That's all I've been hearing all day. What kind of comfort is that? The fact is my best friend tried to killed himself. I don't think anything is going to be much of a comfort. If people want to make me feel better, they can buy me a fucking plane ticket. I know I'll feel at least a little better being where I can watch him and make sure no one (including himself) can hurt him.

On top of that, my ex has been a complete douche tonight. I think he's jealous that I care so much about John. He thinks it's unfair that I'm giving so much of my attention to John when he (my ex) has a torn ACL. Boo-Fucking-Hoo. A torn ACL won't kill him. Taking a handful of muscle relaxers will kill John.

And just to spite me...the ex had to talk about our currently non-existent relationship, like that fucking mattered at all to me right now. I'm in tears over my best friend...I've been crying for almost 22 hours straight, and all he wants to do is tell me how much I'm hurting him. And how I'm just fucking with him and toying with his mind. I'm not the one who keeps bringing it up. I'm not the one who keeps calling and texting. I'm not the one who can't give it a rest for a single fucking day.